Spotted Pigs, Fire, Hogzilla II

The World Could Use a Little Frankenstein

I think most of us agree the death of SNL's Phil Hartman was tragic. I remember his quiet, off-camera response to an interview question, simply saying "the world needs laughter."

Who can forget the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer? Frankenstein? Where are they when we need them?

Nine years later we can thank the steady stream of news about men behaving badly to help us howl in his absence. Exhibit A. This New York Post story about chef Marco Pierre White setting himself on fire while demonstrating flaming shots (was he quoting Dante? was it the signature drink in Hell?) at The Spotted Pig.

His audience? You won't be surprised. As if the stunt were not silly enough, it seems he was doused by fellow barflies flinging drinks at his flaming self, and somehow his hand was cut by glass. If only Frankenstein had been there to warn him: "FIRE BAD!" Especially following a night of drinking...

Filling the Unfrozen Caveman Void - Thanks, Dixie!

I'm not saying all men are primitive, or anything. I like men. Some of my best friends are men. Heck, I even married one. But seriously, have you seen the news hit of the 11 year old Alabama boy shooting Hogzilla with his Dad? Actually, they're calling it Hogzilla II. Call this Exhibit B.

I found this hilarious post on
Michael Ruhlman's blog indicating the young, Christian-educated honor roll student was spurred on through his three hour shooting rampage, inspired by Ruhlman. I think his Dad also wanted to see Tony eat the poop shoot or testicles or something. (Must've read Peddling Flesh and Pushing Limits.) Ah, the civilizing effects of culinary education.

By the way, maybe one of my hunting, unfrozen caveman readers can tell me why an 11 year old is allowed to carry a gun and when did anyone start hunting with revolvers? Various reports also indicate that he shot his first deer - - at age 5.

By the way, Field & Stream reports (yes, I do my research!) that the original "Hogzilla" was actually most likely one of four hogs escaped from a neighbor's pen. Later documented to be smaller than initial reports. Several hunters have also posted on many sites that the weapon reported to have been used would be an unlikely weapon for an eleven year old.

The web is already abuzz with hoax rumours. All I can say is WTF?!

Southern Christian child-rearing issues aside, it's still a lotta pork. I wonder if Paula Deen's people will be gifted some sausage? After her ill-advised endorsement of environmental and labor violators, Smithfield Foods, perhaps she's in the mood for a little "free-range" pork. Even if it came from a neighbor's yard.

Thanks to Ruhlman, del Grosso et al. for putting a proper ironic spin on it all.