Spotted Pigs, Fire, Hogzilla II

The World Could Use a Little Frankenstein

I think most of us agree the death of SNL's Phil Hartman was tragic. I remember his quiet, off-camera response to an interview question, simply saying "the world needs laughter."

Who can forget the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer? Frankenstein? Where are they when we need them?

Nine years later we can thank the steady stream of news about men behaving badly to help us howl in his absence. Exhibit A. This New York Post story about chef Marco Pierre White setting himself on fire while demonstrating flaming shots (was he quoting Dante? was it the signature drink in Hell?) at The Spotted Pig.

His audience? You won't be surprised. As if the stunt were not silly enough, it seems he was doused by fellow barflies flinging drinks at his flaming self, and somehow his hand was cut by glass. If only Frankenstein had been there to warn him: "FIRE BAD!" Especially following a night of drinking...

Filling the Unfrozen Caveman Void - Thanks, Dixie!

I'm not saying all men are primitive, or anything. I like men. Some of my best friends are men. Heck, I even married one. But seriously, have you seen the news hit of the 11 year old Alabama boy shooting Hogzilla with his Dad? Actually, they're calling it Hogzilla II. Call this Exhibit B.

I found this hilarious post on
Michael Ruhlman's blog indicating the young, Christian-educated honor roll student was spurred on through his three hour shooting rampage, inspired by Ruhlman. I think his Dad also wanted to see Tony eat the poop shoot or testicles or something. (Must've read Peddling Flesh and Pushing Limits.) Ah, the civilizing effects of culinary education.

By the way, maybe one of my hunting, unfrozen caveman readers can tell me why an 11 year old is allowed to carry a gun and when did anyone start hunting with revolvers? Various reports also indicate that he shot his first deer - - at age 5.

By the way, Field & Stream reports (yes, I do my research!) that the original "Hogzilla" was actually most likely one of four hogs escaped from a neighbor's pen. Later documented to be smaller than initial reports. Several hunters have also posted on many sites that the weapon reported to have been used would be an unlikely weapon for an eleven year old.

The web is already abuzz with hoax rumours. All I can say is WTF?!

Southern Christian child-rearing issues aside, it's still a lotta pork. I wonder if Paula Deen's people will be gifted some sausage? After her ill-advised endorsement of environmental and labor violators, Smithfield Foods, perhaps she's in the mood for a little "free-range" pork. Even if it came from a neighbor's yard.

Thanks to Ruhlman, del Grosso et al. for putting a proper ironic spin on it all.

More on Grill Bitches and "Lat-eeenos"

From Bourdain, posting on Ruhlman...he rants about the egregious racism of the James Beard house in this post on Ruhlman.com taking up his favorite cause celebre of Mexicans in the kitchen, but I just want some of these macho big boys in the food world to acknowledge sexism in the business. (For the record, I do think he's spot on about who does a lot of the work in kitchens that goes unrecognized).

For me, it's all disgusting and part of my experience in the business and in other businesses. It ain't new and it ain't going away until it's openly acknowledged, till guys at the top own it, and choose to do something different going forward.

As I pointed out previously here, only when someone like Bourdain calls a GUY a name like "The Grill Bitch" and means it as a compliment, and it's taken as such; only then will we be sure we've made some progress.

And if Bourdain deplores the James Beard House so, why does he still go to their events?

Bashing the food network, and taking a swipe at the bashers, too

Full Disclosure
Watching the Las Vegas episode of the No Reservations marathon, I was reminded of my brush with (blogging) fame when Michael Ruhlman mentioned something I'd written. (See Defense of the Dog.) It may be that he was just showing that his writing is better than mine, but geez, it's Ruhlman. He noticed something I'd written on Ferrán Adrià.

But why had no one contacted me about my recent witty post mentioning both Ruhlman and Bourdain. How prescient do I have to be?

Then I realized this post was still sitting, unposted, on my dashboard. Ooops.

Well here it is and for what it's worth, I actually did write this last week and...oh never mind.

Better late than never
Fun post and commentary on Food Network Drivel in Michael Ruhlman's überchef insider blog (or should it be überinsider chef blog?) All the more entertaining because it's written by guest blogger, Anthony Bourdain.

In the food blogging world, I sometimes feel like I did in my CP* past, when I first began reading the Wall Street Journal. I couldn't follow anything. It was like reading a different language. An executive who graduated from the same state school I attended (for which I nearly apologized in my self-effacing interview with her) advised me to stick with the WSJ.

She said it is an insiders' source, one worth getting familiar with, and promised that with some perserverance - it would begin to make sense. I did, and it did. Fast forward several lifetimes, careers, and pink slips, to today. See Jackie write and cook and eat. And blog about cooking and eating.

The Macho World of Chefs
Some of the food blogs are the same way. Inside jokes, references to parties where only 50 or so of the achingly hip and celebrated chefs were in attendance, macho who-ate-what or drank-how-much references- you guys know who you are.

Well, in the universe of snarky-chef-cum food writers, Bourdain reigns supreme as the Chairman's nephew would say. By the way, just how does a brocade-jacket-wearing-Les Mis-singing star get into the world of iron cheffing anyway? And what did his nephew do to inhereit the US franchise? But I digress.

Do click on Ruhlman's blog for some entertaining food network bashing.

Macho, Macha
I like to think I could hold my own in the macho world. Maybe even someday earn the respect of someone like AB and get cool a nickname like "The Grill Bitch." Doubt my chops?

Just remember:

• I challenged Bourdain to a foie eating contest ages ago. (as yet unanswered)


• I asked for the microgravity bioreactor for Christmas. (ditto - surprising since Santa supposedly drinks the same Scotch as my Dad, I thought I was in with the fat man. Perhaps a story for another day...)


• I shared my hitting-bottom saga Confessions of a Dining-In 12 Stepper with all of you.

For the record
I highly recommend Bourdain's shows and his books. Even while he continues to ignore me, I remain convinced his writing is good. Straightforward, easy to read while still holding your attention with insightful observations about food and human nature.

Both the books and his shows reveal the human side of the made for TV persona. He's not afraid to call it likes he see's it and is also quite willing to laugh at himself. He offers us a window into the power of food and travel to change our lives. He does it with smart, snarky wit but also sensitive humor.

For these gifts I'll remain grateful, even while remaining seated at the kiddie table of the food blogging meal.


*CP = Corporate Pussy