Schadenfreude - My Lunch in the Clink

A little history and etymology to begin...

1851 - The Charles Street Jail is opened in Boston.

1895 - The word “Schadenfreude” is coined from two others: Damage + Joy. Merriam-Webster defines it as “enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others.” Gotta love those Germans!

1973 – The Charles Street Jail is closed. For those unfamiliar with Boston history, the Charles Street Jail was notorious for such inhumane conditions that prisoners filed suit and a judge promptly agreed and ordered it shut. It was a common occurrence for guys to plead guilty to heavier crimes just to get transferred out of Charles Street. They might've been tough guys, but they didn't care for the legendary, prehistoric-sized rodents and bugs.

2007 – Clink, the penitentiary-themed restaurant, and the Liberty Hotel property are opened. (Get it? Liberty? Clink? The bar is "Alibi".)

Admittedly, I used to be a defense attorney, now a “recovering attorney.” I may be tainted by some of those really un-fun "houses of correction" where I went to meet my clients.

But I can be fun. Really, I can. Then, over my heirloom tomatoes and fried Ipswich clams, I looked at the busboys (Latino) with numbered shirts (how clever!) and my spirit fell. I guess my face did, too as my friend quickly told me that she heard there was a staff meeting where employees were allowed to vote on whether or not to go with the prison number theme shirts.

I can just see the chipper HR gal and her buddy corporate marketing chick (both Ivy-educated, of course) eagerly explaining how terrific this whole theme will be to the staff.

I'm a bus boy, I need work, what am I gonna say: “I'm sorry that kind of offends me...” Oh yea, that'd work out just fine.

I kept thinking how uncomfortable it would be to be working all day looking through actual prison cell bars (they left them on, how cool!) in that numbered shirt. How many of the staff have family or friends for whom this theme is too close for comfort? How many people, like me, picked up one of the serving bowls and thought, looks like a stainless steel cell toilet. Maybe none. Maybe.

I had lunch there about a week ago and despite catching up with my girl friend, running into another old friend, having some good food (small portions), a nice glass of wine (prices quite dear), I just feel depressed over the memory of the meal. Not what you want guests to remember.

Schadenfreude all around

Given the prevalence of lowest-common denominator entertainment, or “reality TV”, I shouldn't be surprised. The suffering, or at least the anxiety, of others is offered up for our regular viewing pleasure. This has been true ever since entertainment execs found that schadenfreude sells, and even better, they don't have to pay writers.

Sleek as it is, this jail-themed restaurant leaves me cold. It's kind of like rich celebrities wearing trucker hats and t-shirts proclaiming their “white trash” status. Just not sure that we're laughing with, rather than at, those less fortunate.

The utterly dead flower arrangement at the hostess stand did nothing to put me in a more lively or carefree mood, either.

I used to think I was a cool hipster. Now, I think I'd rather stay home and have a Spam sandwich in front of the TV. Just hope there's something good on...

For an interesting perspective on the Jail, see Kevin Cullen's piece in the Globe.

Menace in the Kitchen - Food Safety in Boston

Mudbugs and Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes, even an experienced cook who knows better. A beautiful jambalaya was coming together nicely. The final addition was to be crawfish (frozen, thawed). I hesitated before adding them. It's been a long time since I've had crawfish, I didn't remember them being fishy? Then again, I was in the final throes of a migraine and that affects all my senses. Caleb had removed the packaging, noticed only a teensy tear in, but noticed nothing else off. We trust our purveyor, so I decided it was my migraine-compromised sense of smell.

Okay, I know what you're saying: I should know better. I DO know better. But this was just one incident. And it was just the two of us at home. (We ate a little, agreed it was probably better to be safe, chucked it, neither of us suffering any ill effects.)

This same night I took a big gulp of my iced tea, only to find I'd split a tea bag and was choking on a mouthful of tea leaves. This was not my day in the kitchen!

Dining Out in Boston

Dining out has been a different story. How about the mouse that crawled over my feet during dinner out one night on Newbury Street. The staff laughed when I told them and pointed to the mouse running across the floor. “Oh him? He's our mascot.” Check please.

Or how about my husband's roach salad? The manager indicated that it was, after all, “organic.” So is poop but I sure as heck don't want to eat it, you eejit.

When serving the dining public, our highly regarded chefs, kitchen staff and restauranteurs should be above such foolish decisions, right? Even if we can't trust them, our city has inspectors to check up on them, right?

That I, on my worst night, am in good company with some of Boston's finest hot spots is cold comfort, believe me. The problem appears that far worse than we might have thought. Some of our “best” restaurants have been in violation for pretty egregious things, for years. A recent exposé in the Boston Globe is enough to spoil your appetite.

Hard to say what part of the article is more horrifying: the discoveries or the attitude of the owners when questioned about them. I'm going with the latter. See, anyone can make a mistake. But if you are charged with several health code violations and you still have the attitude that it doesn't matter, you couldn't care less, or don't want to come clean [pun intended] that is clearly the more grievous sin. Here are some excerpts, judge for yourself.

Resaurant Clio – Ken Oringer is one of Boston's top celebrity chefs. His girlie- I mean, curly-haired visage graces the cover of one magazine in Boston or another about every other week. People swoon.

Several violations including six that cause food-borne illnesses, rat droppings by dumpster and threatened with closure. Ken Oringer's response? “We're very friendly with the Board of Health. We've never had any problems.” Asked specifically about the serious violations, “Make of them what you will. I'm not interested in discussing them any further.”

Violations: Ick. Droppings by the dumpster I assume this means outside. Problem, but probably difficult to avoid. But “several violations” including six which cause food borne illness were on the inside. This is inexcusable.

Response: Insult to injury, Oringer's “we're tight with the Board of Health and couldn't care less to discuss with you” attitude will not have me scurrying back to his spots anytime soon. How ironic two of his newest spots are La Verdad (something to do with truth) and K.O. as in knocked out with food poisoning...?

Aquitaine – Threatened with closure two years in a row (2005, 2006) but still have mice in store room, dead mouse in boiler room and out of date food on hand, presumably ready to be served. Poor hygiene noted. Dishwasher not hot enough to sterilize. If your staff are unclean and there are mice running around your kitchen, at least make sure the plates are clean.

“...welcome inspectors at any time. Aquitaine values recommendations and works closely with inspectors to uphold standards they set forth to ensure the safety of all patrons.”

Violations: Running a restaurant with serious violations for the third straight year but without consequence might lead one to get complacent but we should be comforted by the stated concern and promise of cooperation, maybe?

Response: Hollow pronouncements of concern and promise of cooperation. But let's be serious: you've got out of date food in the cooler, mice droppings everywhere and dirty employees...but you didn't notice until the Inspectors pointed it out? Three years in a row?

I dropped a line to the Mayor and his Inspectional Services Department. I'll let you know what I hear. [update: as of October 5, 2007 no word from the Mayor's office. Big surprise, eh? Click on that link to check what Inspectional Services might be posting on its "updates".]

In the meantime, check out this site for a few useful reminders. Oh, and don't forget to wash your hands.

O-Ya - Set to Impress

The Leather District will soon enjoy fine food in a new dining venue. Poised to open within weeks (days?), O-Ya is going to be a fine addition to the neighborhood, and to Boston as a whole.

I had the opportunity to sit down with Tim and Nancy Cushman recently and learn more about what’s in store for us.

You may have guessed from the shoji screen window treatments that the restaurant opening on East Street is Japanese. Correct. If you assumed it will be like other upscale sushi venues in Boston, you’d be mistaken. We are in for a real treat.

I was immediately impressed by several things during my introduction. First is the husband and wife team behind O-Ya. Unlike some restauranteurs riding the wave of interest in gourmet food, these people are the real deal . They also have a love for, and dedication to, the neighborhood. Boston’s had its share of posers in the business. We’ve seen them come and go, even here in the LD. Anyone remember Epiphany?

Devotion to authenticity
Tim and Nancy have been preparing for this opening for years. Steadily gaining expertise, honing recipes, making plans. Their attention to detail and their commitment to offering a great dining experience with authentic Japanese ingredients are evident. In a field where people apprentice for years, Tim has earned the respect of masters whom sushi aficionados may recognize from their first-name fame, “Nobu”, “Hiro” – O-Ya, we’re talking real cred here.

Traditionally, sushi chefs must earn the privilege of training by first mastering things like sweeping and cleaning. Then perhaps they are graduated to learning rice making. This might take a year in itself. A deep, comprehensive and disciplined commitment to any endeavor is a given in the Japanese culture. There are no short-cuts. That Tim worked so closely with such masters all over the world speaks volumes of his dedication and his skill.

Improvisation on a theme
Like the jazz musician he is (Cushman trained at Berklee) Tim has a respect for tradition and a love for innovation, too. But make no mistake, O-Ya is no fusion-type of restaurant. The food here will be authentic at its core, in its spirit, with some variations on the theme.

Even the renovation of the firehouse is an example of the balance the Cushmans aim to strike between tradition and innovation. For example, the sushi bar will be a true dining bar, not a drinking bar at which one may order food. A diner at a traditional sushi bar is seated lower than the chef. The Cushmans have chosen to level the interaction, quite literally. By creating a slightly less formal positioning of diner to chef, they intentionally encourage a more relaxed interaction.

Their love of their adopted neighborhood is evident and they’ve taken care to incorporate the unique nature of the old firehouse into their renovation of this space. Recovered wood from old New England barns is used. The fire hose drying rack still hangs on the wall. (Don’t worry, you don’t have to use a pole to get to the restrooms.) Their mantra to the G.C. was “nothing shiny”. It looks like they got it right.

Ingredients they choose also convey their dedication to offering a superlative dining experience. Poulet rouge (a French heritage breed chicken), Kurobuta pork and Wagyu beef (American Kobe) will be on the menu. Locally sourced vegetables, house-made tofu -- this is a master at work.

Nancy has attained sake sommelier training from the only gaijin (non – Japanese) man to be invited as an official taster to a prefectural sake tasting. He was also the only non-Japanese to receive the award of “Accomplished Sake Taster” by the Pure Sake Association. As O-Ya’s Sake Sommelier, Nancy is prepared to share her love of sake and her considerable knowledge of it with guests. She brings corporate marketing background and sensitivity to a more Japanese way of doing things to this endeavor. Word of mouth, building relationships, disciplined bottom-up work is apparent here.

We are poised to enjoy a truly unique venue right in our own neighborhood and we’re lucky to have this addition. With the opening of O-Ya, the Leather District will enjoy masterful food: forward looking, but authentic at its core. We will also enjoy the rare opening of a window into the Japanese culture itself.

Tim and Nancy – Gokurosama!

Boston's Toast Scandal

Once again we distinguish ourselves as an embarassingly provincial town. Way to go Boston.

You know what I'm talking about, right? The ri-DONK-ulous over-reaction to Turner Broadcasting's viral marketing campaign. Turner hired a couple of brilliant viral marketing guys to create and execute a campaign to promote their upcoming Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie. These guys posted lite-brite toys of a cartoon character in the shape of a piece of toast, flipping the bird, all around ten major metropolitan cities. About two weeks ago.

Remember Lite-Bright toys? I can still sing the silly commercial jingle: "Lite-Brite, makin' things with light. Outtasite, makin' things with Lite-Brite."

See my new heros on You Tube explain this crazy mess. If you're at work or the kids are nearby you might want to lower the volume.

The original cast of Aqua Teen Hunger Force are food items. I think they may have been created by someone who was really, really hungry and maybe high. Anyway, they're not in water, nor are they teens, nor are they a force of any discernable type. But they are food items. Stephen Colbert apparently pointed out that the Toast (Mooninite character) might have been less effective than the french fry guy.

Toast. Hmm. There's got to be some irony I'm missing here. After months of my ranting over the ridiculous city of Chicago ban on foie gras, we're now blowing up toast cartoons all over Boston. Anyway, watch the guys on the You Tube clip and you'll see what's what.

And remember, hairstyles are what they really wanted to talk about.